2009
09.13
Just up for a little fun today. Here are some jokes I’ve heard about college football. If you have any good ones feel free to email them to me at skreyn01@hotmail.com.
1. A scrawny man at a bar in Columbus says to the guy sitting next to him, “Hey, you want to hear a really funny Ohio State joke?” The guy replies, “Hey buddy. See the bartender? He played at Ohio State. See those two huge guys to your left? They played at Ohio State. See that group of big guys over at that table? All Ohio State football players. Look at me. I’m 6’4, 235 and played at Ohio State. Now are you sure you want to tell me your joke?” The scrawny man says, “Nah. I don’t want to have to explain and repeat it 5 times.”
2. Alabama football coach Nick Saban asked the freshman walk-on hopeful if he could tackle.
The kid said, “Yes sir coach, I can tackle.”
The coach then asked, “Well, can you run?”
The kid said, “Yes sir coach, I can run very fast.”
Saban then said, “Can you pass a football?”
The kid thought for a second and said, “Well coach, if I can swallow it I can probably pass it.”
3. If you are driving and see a Miami football player riding a bicycle, why should you take great care in not hitting him?
It could be your bike.
4. The Notre Dame fan was complaining to his friend about his wife. He said, “My wife thinks I put the Fighting Irish ahead of our marriage. I disagree. We just celebrated our fourth season together.”
5. How come football isn’t a religion this season in the SEC?
It was put on probation.
6. Why did they build a new automobile factory near Oklahoma State?
Because of the endless supply of crash test dummies down the street.
7. A Clemson football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horse back riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
8. A Southern Cal football player was bragging to a group of co-eds that he finished a jigsaw puzzle in only 3 months. One girl said, “Three months? You’re proud of that?” The Trojan said, “Yep. On the box it said 4-6 years.”
9. An Alabama fan was driving down a desolate road late one night and gets into a collision with an Auburn fan driving in the opposite direction. Both cars are totaled but amazingly, both men survive. The Bama fan looks at the Auburn fan and says, “You know, we should both be dead. I think this is God’s way of saying that we should put our petty differences aside and be friends.” The Auburn fan agrees. The Alabama fan then pops open his trunk and says, “Look at this bottle of Jack Daniels. Not even broken. I think this is another sign God wants us to get along.” The Auburn fan agrees and says, “Lets have a toast,” and starts chugging the whiskey. The Auburn fan drinks half the bottle and says to the Bama fan, “Ok, your turn buddy,” and offers the bottle back to him. The Bama fan says, “No thanks. I’ll just wait for the cops to show up.”
10. Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday and wear it to pick up trash on Monday.
[...] He played at Ohio State . See those two huge guys to your left? They played at Ohio State . See that group of big guys over at that table? All Ohio State football players. Look at me. I’m 6′4, 235 and played at Ohio State . …Read More [...]